FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
