Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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