My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
