He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
