What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
