just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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