I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
