hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
