just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
