I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
