I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
