coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
