I hope mine doesn't look like that
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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