All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
