he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
