omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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