I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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