Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
