One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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