She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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