also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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