4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Kiss
Puke
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
