You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
