He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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