I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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