piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
