What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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