i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
