I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
