I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
