Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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