Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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