Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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