I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize