you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
