When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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