i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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