So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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