I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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