goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
