very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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