My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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