I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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