doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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