Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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