I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
