i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
