He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
