What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he thought i was a dude.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
