ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My life is pants optional.
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