my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
