i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's blow job season.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
