She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
