i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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