Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
