Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
