Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
