I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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